Thank you all so much for you excellent feedback. I think I've got what I'm looking for in my ABNA pitch. For some reason, I had it in my head that ABNA started this coming week. Fortunately, it's not for another week. Or maybe that's unfortunately? I don't know. It depends on how my Jets do today against the evil empire. It's always appropriate to be in a good frame of mind when entering a contest.
Here's the pitch after all the wonderful critiques.
Sixteen-year-old Zydeco Hill uncovers a plot to capture former mythological creatures and expel them to a barren world filled with hungry beasts. Two years since his own transformation from griffin to human, he’s been attending clandestine meetings of the city’s ex-mythological creatures. When the police raid one such meeting, he discovers the conspiracy goes all the way up to the mayor’s office.
As other mythos vanish from the city’s streets, the deputy mayor demands Zydeco turn in Octavio, the missing leader of their kind. His initial resistance causes the disappearance of both his stepmother and best friend, and it won’t be long before they’re served up as chimera-chow. While trying to keep the mythological truth from the girl he adores, Zydeco must rescue his friends and step-mom. Along the way, he unearths critical information about an even larger conspiracy to rid the world of his brethren, but he needs Octavio’s help to put it to use. The only problem is he has no idea where the guy is hiding.
At 80,000 words, Urban Mythos is a young adult urban fantasy novel that blends action and romance while dealing with issues of trust and assimilation. It will appeal to readers who enjoy the distinctive voice and humor of S.G. Browne’s Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament and Catherine Jinks’ The Reformed Vampire Support Group.
3 comments:
I like it. Best of luck and way to go Jets.
Thanks, M.A. And the Jets thank you.
I submitted Steam Palace to ABNA.
Too bad about the Jets. Better them than the Steelers.
The only comment I have about the pitch is that I don't really see that the choices Zydeco makes are well-defined. Might want to consider strengthening that aspect (I think you can edit your entry up to the 6th).
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